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Relationships Formed on TV’s Reality Dating Shows Not Necessarily a Joke

5/18/2004

Relationships Formed on TV's Reality Dating Shows Not Necessarily a Joke -- Mr. Mate Map declares successful relationships possible for “Joe Millionaire” and “The Bachelorette”
While much of the media and the public dismisses the idea that the relationships formed on "Joe Millionaire" and "The Bachelorette" will last, dating and relationship expert Steven Sacks (AKA Mr. Mate Map) believes their new relationships can last if each of them makes a more thorough assessment of their potential mates.

With a final mate-selection decision facing both Evan Marriott and Trista Rehn this week, the world watches as these two TV stars agonize over whether or not they've made the right choice. Meanwhile, much of the media and the public dismiss the idea that these new relationships will last.

"Many people write off these made-on-TV relationships as a joke, but they can actually work," says Steven Sacks, author of The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate (http://www.matemap.com). "While Joe Millionaire and The Bachelorette are taking the most important areas of a relationship into consideration–-Magnetism, Love, and Personality Fit–-they're not being thorough enough in their assessment. Each of them makes comments such as, 'she's wonderful' and 'he's really sweet,' but a relationship decision should not be based on such general views."

"Evan and Trista need to examine their potential mates on a more detailed level and consider such areas as affection, optimism, nonverbal communication, intelligence, and sincerity," explains Sacks,. "By examining these and dozens of other important criteria, Joe Millionaire and The Bachelorette would be certain in knowing whether or not they've found the right person for them."

Years in the making, Sacks' Mate Map technique helps people focus on the details of how to select a mate. It was created to help singles who are either looking for someone special or who are in a relationship and trying to decide whether the person they're with is "the one." In the United States alone, there are 53 million people between the ages of 20 and 49 who fit this description.

"The reason why so many relationships don't last is because people only look at relationships on the surface," says Sacks. "We need to dig deeper to determine whether or not a relationship has a high level of three critical areas-—Magnetism, Love, and Personality Fit. A relationship is just like a stool—-if you don't have all three legs, it will fall apart."

Besides showing how to recognize and evaluate Magnetism, Love, and Personality Fit, the Mate Map offers further guidance for choosing a mate:
- Keep the emotional side and the rational side in balance
- Be wary of extreme differences and extreme similarities
- Know your "dealbreakers" up front
- Give physical attraction and chemistry a chance to develop