Catholic Singles Directory - Entertainment

Bunk Magazine Online Matchmaking Brings Fictitious Couple Together

6/2/2004

Bunk Magazine Online Matchmaking Brings Fictitious Couple Together
: BunkMates, the online dating service run by the humor website Bunk Magazine (bunkmag.com), has used the unparalleled matchmaking power of the internet to serve as digital cupid to two lovelorn, albeit non-existent, people.
Professor Cashius Cadwallader and Vicki Blodgett, both fabricated by the staff of Bunk Magazine, were brought together through the magic of the BunkMates AlgoRandom Engine. AlgoRandom, a breakthrough in dating-related technology, gathers key information about potential couples, compiles the data into a huge nationwide database, creates a 302 point "compatibility profile" for each user, then discards it entirely and matches people at random.
The engine rated Cadwallader and Blodgett 83% compatible, based on the number eighty-three. After a brief exchange of emails, the two decided to meet in the BunkMates chat room. "From the moment we began chatting, I knew Vicki was the woman for me," said Cadwallader, "intelligent, funny, well-spoken and, best of all, completely fictional."
"Everyone I had met online before seemed so fake," added Blodgett, "and so was Cashius — only more so. That's what I love about the internet. Where else can you meet so many people like that?"
Since its creation in April, the BunkMates site on bunkmag.com has attracted more than 200,000 fictional visitors, many of whom have signed up to use the service. "Most of the folks you meet online are making stuff up about themselves anyway," said Dr. Sticky, Bunk's sex advice columnist and Chief Development Consultant for BunkMates, "here at BunkMates, we just took that one step further. BunkMates guarantees that EVERYTHING about EVERYONE using the service is COMPLETELY made up."
"We're not just concerned with helping fictional people meet other fictional people," said Bunk Hookup Coordinator Mark Marino, "we're here for anyone that needs a fake 'significant other', from geeks to dorks to nerds to dweebs to just plain losers." Lovemeister Alan Laser added, "The internet is there for people who can't get dates in the real world, and BunkMates is there for the people who can't even get dates on the internet." Mac Daddy Jonathan Van Gieson could not be reached for comment.
And what will become of the happy couple? Are there wedding bells in their fictitious future? "Only time will tell," Cadawallader says, smiling knowingly, "time, and Bunk Magazine, of whom I am a wholly owned subsidiary."
A wholly owned subsidiary, indeed.